Recovering gentleness in evangelism

The striking beauty of gentleness

I walked up to a young man after the service and gave him a big hug. This particular young man was a Muslim a year ago and was now following Jesus. He was so excited about Jesus, even though he was the only Christian in his family. That Sunday, I gave him a hug. He looked back at me and said, “Pastor Micah, why are you so gentle with me?” The question caught me off-guard. I replied, “Why do you ask?” He said, “I’m not used to people being so gentle with me. In Islam, that is not how I was treated.” I hadn’t thought about that question but I replied, “Brother, if I’m gentle with you, it’s because Jesus has been so gentle with me. I just want to be like him.”

I am not always kind and gentle. I have a lot of growing to do. However, we are in a cultural moment where gentleness is often mocked. Brashness and boldness are going viral. Strong words and strong stances are offered, often with little regard for kindness. In such an unkind world, gentleness that doesn’t sacrifice courage or truth has the potential to catch many off-guard who don’t know Jesus and show them the beauty of his heart.

Jesus was gentle with the lost

Jesus was criticized for being a “friend of sinners” (Matt. 11:19; Luke 7:34). He spoke kindly to the woman at the well (John 4:1-26). With Zaccheus the tax collector, he showed kindness and compassion (Luke 19:1-10). In salvation, he describes himself like a shepherd gently rescuing a lost lamb, carrying it on his shoulders (Luke 15:3-7). The call of Jesus to all who are lost is, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt. 11:28-29). Jesus was able to speak the truth boldly and gently. Jesus was kind and humble, gracious and loving. His example is the one we look to when we consider how we share his message.

We must be gentle with the lost

Gentleness is a fruit of the spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). It is a sign of a Christian’s growth in Christ (Eph. 4:2; Col. 3:12; 1 Tim. 6:11). It is striking though how often gentleness is commended when it comes to our interactions with the world. We are commanded to “be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people” (Tit. 3:2) because when we were lost, the “goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared” (Tit. 3:4). The Lord’s servant must be “kind to everyone… correcting his opponents with gentleness” (2 Tim. 2:24-26). As we make a “defense” for the hope that is in us, we must do so with “gentleness and respect” (1 Pet. 3:15). When talking to “outsiders,” our speech must be “gracious, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:5-6). This is why Paul commands us, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:18). 

We need an army of gentle warriors that care for people’s souls, meet with them at the well, have dinner in their homes, and live with quiet strength and gentle confidence in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Gentleness is disarming and winsome

Gentleness is not honored or common in our world. Unfortunately, it is also becoming less common in the church. The world around us is very “hot” right now. There is little restraint, self-control, or valuing of kindness. Although it is true that gentleness can be used as a facade for fear, when a Christian engages the world with both clear truth and gentle humility, they stand out. In a sense, it pours cold water on the fire. A soft answer extinguishes wrath (Prov. 15:1). A soft tongue used with patience can persuade even a king (Prov. 25:15). A gentle tongue is like a tree of life (Prov. 15:4). We need an army of gentle warriors that care for people’s souls, meet with them at the well, have dinner in their homes, and live with quiet strength and gentle confidence in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The world needs to see the gentle heart of Jesus in us

For the world, we are the “aroma of Christ” that spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere (2 Cor. 14-16). How will people know what the gentle heart of Jesus is like unless we show them? With this fruit of God’s Spirit at work, we can be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who are broken, lost, and needy. In our gentleness, people will see the one who came down from his throne and was humble, kind, and gentle with sinners like us.

There’s a man I’ve been sharing Jesus with for 3 years. The first time we talked, he told me he hadn’t been in church for 30 years because he was abused when he was a child by a priest. A few months later, my jaw hit the floor when he walked into our church building. We became friends and he shared his deepest sorrows and struggles with me. He visited the church off and on till one Sunday, I came to him and asked why he looked so sad. He told me, “I’m not doing okay. I’m such a failure. I’ve made a mess of my life.” I sat down next to him and told him, “Jesus loves failures. Anything you’ve done, he can forgive. All of your brokenness, he can heal. Don’t you think it’s time to come to him?” And with tears in his eyes, he gave his life to follow Jesus. 

He needed to know that, in the midst of his guilt and shame, a gentle and lowly Jesus would meet him in his brokenness. A bruised reed, he will not break. Like a doctor, he comes to the sick and dying because he wants to heal. As we share the message of Jesus with those around us, may we also share his gentle heart. The world needs to see it.